the nightmare of insomnia

yes, yesterday was the last holiday b4 work of 2009 begins.



it maybe of this reason - the denial of needing to be in the office at 9am the next day. therefore, my subconscious mind is telling my brain to keep thinking...to keep being awake, because the best time is not going to last....



unfortunately, this is not such a good idea because i did not fall asleep until 700am this morning, and i had to wake up at 730am and get ready to work

all i remember is that my eyes were wide open in the dark for as long as i can remember; remember that the room turns from pitch black to greyish blue, seeing the dim sunlight shining through my windows....

i will not ponder why i could not fall asleep,
i did not read anything boring last night,
i remember that i was counting sheep at 4am (when was the last time i seriously did that)
i listened to like a whole bunch of music...fiona apple, mazzy star's both cds, portishead live, garden state ost....my macbook must be burnt out...
i did think a lot about the movie i watched in the afternoon - 非誠勿擾
~i highly recommend the film~ but i definitely sympathized with a lot of the little thoughts that the movie raised; i guess tiny deja-vus ....

now i have took a nap at lunch time and wake up....i am in the office again....600pm will come soon....then i will fall asleep again.

the nightmare of this insomnia not only carries through last nite of forcing me to stare at the ceiling for 7 hours in complete darkness, but onto today's surreal office setting...with the yellowish fluorescent light shining onto my computer screen....another 4 hours to go, then i can fall asleep again...